Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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