Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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