he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
