Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize