Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
