First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I could make wine with my vomit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
