I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
