i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
