remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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