My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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