shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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