he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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