I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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