Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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