i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize
