I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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