no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
