'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I need moral support for this bender
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize