soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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