Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the condom got lost in my hair
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
