break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
