Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
