All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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