At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I checked into jail on foursquare
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
