3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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