just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize