if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
