Nicole vs. Life
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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