this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Randomize
