God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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