Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize