I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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