Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I smell stomach acid.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
