apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
