So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
