I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
