no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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