I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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