In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize