Im at strip club and am horny
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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