And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
