I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
