I understand why you refuse to be sober now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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