dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
