Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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