oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
