i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
