it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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