hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
