He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize