i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
