you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
