i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
