But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
please don't ironically join a cult
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