I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
