next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
