My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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