The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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