i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
