just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
