I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
