so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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