Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
