tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
