Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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(314): View more from Missouri

In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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(248): View more from Michigan

he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning

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(619): View more from California

woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka

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(248): View more from Michigan

I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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(518): View more from New York

How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?

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(940): View more from Texas

Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.

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