Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
