You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
