direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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