once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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