I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
