New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
