Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
