Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
