I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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