I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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