you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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