i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
