Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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