Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
