He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
