I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
