Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
