really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
