Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
